On To the Bedroom!

After the furniture reinventions that took place in my living room, I took a small break. My dresser and bookshelf look absolutely stunning and I revel in them every time I enter my apartment. They go great with the stool, lamp and coffee table I had already tweaked and I still have schemes for my crafting table and desk. However, I have moved on to the all important and intimidating bedroom.

My bedroom has always been awkward: from it's awkwardly placed window at the edge of the room, to the awkwardly large closet that takes up an entire wall (do not mistake this for complaining), and the awkwardly placed door to my bathroom that is inconveniently placed just far enough from the adjourning wall to not allow for a bed. I have also had an issue with the size of my furniture. It is huge! Moving it around has always been a daunting task . . . but sometimes I get fearless.

Old Layout - from bathroom

Old Layout - from kitchen

Two days ago I rearranged everything. The old arrangement, shown above, was extremely stale and everything felt cramped. There was no flow in the room and my bed really divided up the space which was already tiny. So I heaved around my chunky furniture into a more open plan which, so far, I really love. I won't be showing my new configuration though until I finish with all of my furniture! I would love to share my progress thus far though and see what y'all think. On everything I am sharing, all I used were the pieces I already had, acrylic paint, spray paint, tape and a brush. Those are all of the ingredients.

from "hot mess hot pink" to a dusty blue with gold and white accents

ordinary shells

this was just a plain blue glass bottle

a special abstract work I made for my bedroom

tune in next time to find out what happens to piggy!

Thoughts on change: My new motto is: When you're through changing, you're through. - Martha Stewart

The Dream of Heaven and Greatness

Yesterday after I shared some ideas I have for my future I was asked if I had ever heard the term “Jack of all trades, master of none.” Yes. I have. It isn't the first time someone has referred to me with that saying and I have even been known to describe myself in that way. But what I have been thinking on a lot lately is when did it become a bad thing to be good at a lot of stuff? I have always been multi-talented: in sports, in math, science, art, reading and writing, cooking, and crafting. In track I competed in every category: sprints, middle distance, jumps, throws (I have even tried pole vault and ran cross country). In art I do pretty much everything: painting, drawing, sculpting, design, printing, photography. By grade 4 I was reading at a high school senior level. In high school I won awards not only as student of the year in my Painting course, but in Computer Assisted Drafting and in College Writing.

Do I feel as though I am bragging? Absolutely not. It has become very difficult for me in college to celebrate my talents. Actually, it has been stressful to feel satisfied in a major. When I began my college search 3 years ago I was looking at engineering programs, then I changed my mind to either pursue physics or biology. Something inside me snapped though as the pressure mounted and I decided to enter my freshman year at Wittenberg University as an Art and English double major. After that first year I realized I would not be able to afford continuing my education there, and transferred to the University of Findlay where I was offered a generous Track and Field scholarship. Within the first semester I was talked out of my English degree because I would not graduate in 4 years if I pursued it.

Now I am planning a project that will hopefully earn me a 5^th year internship with the University of Findlay. My dream jobs are to work for the NationalPark Service in an Ecology position and to have my own furniture store in which I would sell updated furniture and as well as work as an interior decorator. I also wouldn't mind being a stay-at-home- … something … and painting to my heart's content. I want to use my 5^th year internship to take courses in Biology and jump start my second degree. I am thinking about applying to TheUniversity of Texas, and to Ohio State for either a Masters of Fine Art and/or an Ecology degree. I have a lot of plans and options!!! Once again, when did that become a bad thing? I am only 20 (21 as of this Friday) … is it not better to have so many roads laying before me than to have no apparent choice at all?

I think so. And last night I began reading Ecclesiastes as if on cue. After I got past the shock of reading what had been on my mind, I found myself already to chapter 3 begging for the rhyme and reason of life to be spelled out. Verse22: So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work, because that is his lot. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him? Ecclesiastes says that not money, not children, not land, not wisdom, nothing you acquire will ever make your life worth it, so be happy because there is nothing left to do but enjoy your time. There is no command to change your life, find a new job, marry, divorce, move somewhere... the Bible simply states to be happy. 

I have a ton of different interests. They all make me happy.

“Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” - Ayn Rand

Hiking Around

Exercise is one of my best friends, but after 7 years of running Track on a high school and college level I hate running for the sake of running. I hurdled, ran sprints and even some middle distance, as well as jumps and throws. Yes. I was a heptathlete. It was gruesome and this past year when I ran in to more than my share of health problems I finally called it quits. Then I took months and months off from any physical exertion and they were some of the worst months of my life. Something amazing happened though: after those months, I started getting in to hiking and nature gawking. I always loved being out of doors and my parents were convinced by age 5 that I would be an Entomologist or Archaeologist. I am still considering getting a second degree in Ecology actually.

But anyhow, I began looking up good hikes nearby (if any of you know Findlay, Ohio you know how funny this is) and eventually accepted that any great hiking would be at least a 2 hour drive away. Since my interests began I have taken many walks at the local Hancock County Parks' Oakwoods, have hiked and climbed around Hocking Hills, Charleston Falls, Hot Springs and BaldMountain. This coming Fall I plan to hike part of the Appalachian Trail during Thanksgiving break and am going to spend most of this summer tromping around anywhere I can go. I love our National Parks and really hope to someday work for one. Here are some pictures from some of my excursions and there will be a lot more to come in the ensuing months!

Oakwoods

Oakwoods

Mt Ida in Hot Springs

Bald Mountain, MI

Hocking Hills

Hocking Hills

Evan at Hocking Hills

“The mountains are calling and I must go.” - John Muir

My Unique Temperament

As I have said previously, I am studying art at the University of Findlay. I mostly take courses in painting and drawing, but I also have interests in design and sculpture. In a lot of my recent pieces I have been working to combine flat patterns with more rendered and rounded forms. I generally work with the subject of the female body, normally nude and a solo figure.

My art is so deeply personal to me that I usually have a hard time sharing it with anyone. My personal public relations representative (whom I like to consider my significant other) has been trying to break me of this nasty habit by encouraging me to post my work to every social media outlet I use. I am still horrible about sharing my art though, and most of the time when I finish a work it is for me and my satisfaction alone. However, I can never expect to sell my work if I do not put myself out there. Even a high school student I recently struck up a conversation with at a local coffee shop was astounded at my lack of getting-out-there-ness.

To counteract my lack of social skills, I am sharing my more recent work with you. The first picture I am sharing was actually removed from my profile on Facebook. It is a drawing of a half naked woman with a corset, skirt and ruffle around her neck. My guess is that someone who is “friends” with me on the sight reported it, but who is to say? This drawing is the first in a series of three I am planning.

This next piece stems from a series of collages I worked on during the semester that utilized vintage Victorian-era photography mixed with acrylic paint, and patterned paper that I used in place of the women's hair and clothing. One of my focuses this semester was to bring my giant ideas to a new level of finished work. She is not fully finished: I am still going to fill in the pattern on the cloth covering her legs. The first picture below is the original collage and the second is the painting I made from it.

Original Collage

Close-up 

Insight on art: A work of art is the unique result of a unique temperament. - Oscar Wilde

Poems From the Deep

Today is a poetry day! Hooray! But really. I'm not Dr. Seuss or Robert Frost but I have been writing poetry ever since I can remember and today for the first time I would like to share it with you for the first time, unless you are in my close confidence in which case you may have already read them. As for background on my poetic tastes, I am a fan of Shel Silverstein, Emily Dickinson, Robert Burns, TimBurton, Lemony Snicket, Robert Frost, Edgar Allan Poe (of course) and Dr. Seuss (who doesn't).

By the time I got to high school I was only writing poetry when it was assigned and almost quit altogether in college. Last spring I enrolled in a Creative Writing course at Findlay and could not be more thankful I did because wow, did I miss it! Of course, considering I walk around thinking about wording conversations, sayings and excuses I will give my teachers about work that is due, I guess I never quit. I now thoroughly understand though why writers walk around with pen and paper close at hand; inspiration strikes at the strangest times. Not even random times. Inspiration sits and waits until your ultimate moment of inconvenience for the day: crossing the street, trying to sleep or in the middle of a cross country bike ride while pursued by wild dogs . . . whatever the day brings.

I guess what I am dancing around, is here is a glimpse in to my wandering mind at its weakest and strongest moments. Let me know what you think in the comments!

The Eyes In The Corners


Where the walls meet
there are perilous eyes:
two for each corner.
Four pairs waiting,
watching warily over
my naked body.
Their lust forms skanky
mouths that flash
nashing whites.
Where are they?
My eyes quickly stab
from side to side
trying to catch the thieves
who'd so quietly steal me.
I know they see me.
They taste me.
They know my fear
of their finding me
defenseless.



Marriage


Does it really mean more?
Together is together
but there's a certain
separation
until
until what?
I want his mark
his claim on me.
It's already there.
I want mine on him.
Is this not too
already present?
Comfort.
Protection.
Does joining together
for others to see
in a dusty, worn
march
really prove your
hope,
admiration
and recognition?
Or is it just
a grope of beaten fingers
toward
toward what?
I want commitment,
engagement
beyond the title.
In motion.
I have obtained
what I
sought.
Allowing the farce
of society
my only foothold
seems like letting a
wedge drive
between the who's
of who I am.
I want so badly
to use that same
wedge between
what I want
and what I think I want.
A stand
for internal motivation.
Not defiance.
Pure
uncaring.


On the Way Back From Hocking Hills


As I ride, I stare down
a lake.
A pond really.
But in the reflection
of the world
in this small body,
I see the trees and sky are
more alive,
like the water has
stolen
them from the world
and made them brilliant.
I want to
plunge
into its realm:
for it to take me too and
make me glow.
What death
must I endure to be there?
It would start in my lungs but
infect the rest
with soggy beams of radiation
until the still waters
reflect me also.
Shining.


Your Moon


I am the marker
to which love is measured,
but none had ever measured
their love for me.

Alone and too bright
to be welcomed in dark,
every person would rather
close their eyes to me.

One day one man
took to the waves
but I did not know
I had made them for he.

He looked at my face
and did not blink,
for the knowledge of it
was special to he.

Into the sea he rushed,
paddle in hand,
and in the darkness
it was only we.

He opened his mouth
and called me by name
with the heaviest breath
as we became we.

All watched in horror
as we could not stop,
but you have named me your moon
and by no other name will I be.

Episode 2: Attack of the Monotone

Recently I have been working to update the furniture in my living room. I live in a seriously outdated apartment, complete with wood paneling, shag carpet and bright orange counters in the kitchen. Needless to say, it makes me itch for change. Only a few weeks ago I had the opportunity to end my lease and move, but decided that since I had already moved twice in the past 2 years, had colored my hair at least 3 drastic colors in the past year and generally had an issue with being satisfied, that I would stick to my guns with my apartment. Plus it only takes 3 minutes, tops, to walk from my apartment to The Gardner Fine Arts Pavilion where the University of Findlay's art studios are.

For me change is the mover of life. Without change I feel stagnant and purposeless. If I did not feel this way though, I would not be a maker. I make things into shapes, purposes and symbols that they would otherwise not achieve. The same goes for you if you sculpt, write, or compose in any way. Change has always been natural to me.

In light of this, I have had, as stated above, an itch to change my apartment. I would love to paint the dark wood panels white, but have settled instead to give my furniture some necessary uplifting. I obtained most of my furniture through my grandma who bought me a set from Pier1 many years ago. Miraculously I had some form of good taste then and chose pieces that fit a sea theme in my mind. I have three dressers, a nightstand and my head and foot boards.

Inspiration

The first piece to come through my fury is a dresser in my living room with also serves as an entertainment stand. I got the idea from a DIY on Pinterest (shown above) and hardly tweaked it. I began with just the cream color that now is confined to the right side. I taped up a line off center and began painting black. If you have never done major revamping to something of significant value, I urge you to try your hand at it. Lord, is it frightening! After hours of painting the left a teeny brush, I removed the tape and promptly threw acrylic paint across the front. Then I taped of the handles, with added aluminum foil protection covering a wide range around the tape, and spray painted them gold. Voila.

As for my bookshelf, coating it was less scarey. This decrepit piece of furniture had at one time belonged to my brother (and I found a rough carving of his name in it as I painted) and was salvaged by me out of my old garage. I began with roughly painting the shelves white, leaving streaks to allow for a stressed look, then began taping off chevron like structures all over the top and on the edges of the lower shelves. I knew I was in trouble when with the first level my spray can was spluttering (I had already used this can of paint for a stool). Midway through the third level the can ran out and I made an executive decision to go ahead and pull the tape. Little things like this add to the character of creation. Some argue that chance happenings do not make art, but I believe if you decide to leave something in a certain way then it is no longer chance.

Curious Fact: Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

from http://www.rense.com/general13/dontneed.htm

Pilot Episode: The Plot

It is hard to begin a blog about nothing, or what feels like nothing, but really I want to write about everything and don't know where to start. The easiest topic to begin is one of the hardest to end: explaining myself. In effect that is what this entire blog will become, but what makes a better story than character development?

I am Whitney Goller. I was born in Texarkana, Texas, have lived in Ottawa and Findlay, Ohio, as well as Melksham in Wiltshire, United Kingdom. In my spare time I am a shieldmaiden of Rohan. Currently I attend The University of Findlay and major in studio art. I grew up believing I was anything and everything. After years of people telling me differently, I have finally come to understand that I still am anything and everything. More specifically though, I am an artist, a designer, a thinker, a reader, a writer, a scientist on a small scale, but most importantly I am not a dreamer. I am a believer. I believe in God, in myself, in you if you will let me, in a greater purpose, in individual freedom, in change, and in making things.

This is a lot to put in to few words, but I am hoping you will listen to my explanations as the days go on. I intend to post my art, poetry, thoughts, pictures and maybe even some ideas. I am giving up most of my social media sites for this endeavor of explaining myself without limitations, but in case curiosity gets the best of those reading these words, here are my sites: Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest. I sell my artwork on both Etsy and Society6.

Oxymoron to think on: Act Naturally