An Energy Scale

When something is further away the light reflecting off that thing takes more time to reach your eyes than something that is close. I believe this is true of time as well; when something is a long time off, it seems to have less pull on your thoughts. Well, the summer is winding down and in a few weeks I will be starting grad school. In a few weeks. Just a few, precious, significant weeks. It feels like every actions, every thought, every hope revolves around these few weeks. Today I felt mentally drained and didn't want to go down to Ada where I've been horseback riding all summer (I know, we'll talk about it), but then after hanging out with Evan was out of the question I suddenly thought... there are only a few weeks left.

The same thing happened a couple nights ago when I thought I would just be by myself for the night and not go stay with Evan, but then I thought... there are only a few weeks left. 

[read 'desperately philosophical'] What is this? The end of my life as I know it? The beginning of a new chapter? Am I becoming someone different? ... Why am do I allow myself to make this into a big ordeal when I know at my core that this was the best summer of my life already? I know that no matter whether I have to spend my days alone, I am loved by and will always love my best friend. It's not just a few weeks left, it's the rest of my life I have to give. It's also just another day. And then another. And another. It's hard not to make a big ordeal out of moving away for the first time (yea, the first year of college didn't really count), but at the end of the day it will just be another 24 hours.

I've always believed in cutting out the drama, so now I need to do it again... not more singing LeAnn Rimes' How Do I Live (don't remember it? a dramatic song about going on without the person you love; click the title of the song for a refresher) every time I think about living in Johnson City without Evan. No more weird dreams about things happening to Felix, the horse I've spent this summer with. No more being mad when my friends don't feel the gravity of my impending move. 

There are only 24 hours each day, and despite the fact that I want to spend every single one of them with the people I love, I'M THE ONE LEAVING. And that's ok. Because there's such a thing as trust. I trust that this summer has meant just as much to the people I've spent it with as it has to me. 

The photos in this post are from the roadtrip my brother and I took this summer. I really hope this becomes a summer ritual for us. I freaking love it.

Also, this is the first time in four months I've written anything at all. I flew past my one year anniversary of having a blog without even blinking. And yes, I DID just listen to How Do I Live while writing this, and I hope the song is just finishing as you finish up reading it...

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. - Buddha

Goals vs. Opportunities

On my big roadtrip through the national parks we stopped at an overlook to take photographs of an amazing red canyon. I have a thing for wanting to capture local vegetation and for wanting to express the magnanimity of a place through showing the small details. So I took some photos and then got to thinking about my approach to photography and how it relates to my approach to life. So here is what I wrote:

Anyone can see the big picture, but it takes a trained / skilled eye to see the small beautiful things. Photography is a perfect example: pictures of big beautiful things can often seem cliché and don't seem to capture the essence of being in a space. However, if you can somehow manage to include a very detailed, small piece of information, you can bring to life the big picture. In life you have to appreciate the moments (this is literally an art term used to describe a small section of a work) in order to really love the big picture.

When I was writing this I was really thinking about a lot of different things. Quite often I see friends get so caught up in their long-term goals that they don't value a single day along the way. I have never seen anyone happy while doing this. Do I think goals are a bad thing? To a degree, yes. If instead of making goals for yourself you make opportunities, I believe the pressure of getting through the time it takes to reach a goal is relieved with the search to make every day an opportunity in itself.

I don't know if I am making a clear point or just hazy blobs, so I will use myself as an example. Last school year I was extremely focused on graduating, getting to a level in networking where I could have big-time shows in 10 years, creating the big work that would get me noticed . . . by summertime I was thinking about not going back to school, I was in a relationship that stressed me out more than helped me, I could not care less whether of not I got in any shows, and I had a minimal amount of work worthy to go in a portfolio.

Then, this summer, I traveled, became single and free, and sorted out some priorities. I'm actually looking forward to all of my classes, whereas normally I start the semester pissed off about my general education courses. I am more excited about what comes after graduation than just getting there, but most importantly every day I remember one important thing: there is no other moment than this; now is all I have.

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. - James Dean

A Bit Late, But Worth the Wait

It is finally time to share my pictures from my recent travels. With these photos I really wanted to show what it is that makes these parks so special to me. When I hike, it isn't just walking around. Every step brings something new to light, even if I have walked the path a million times.

This trip took me through Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina, Tennessee, Virginia and West Virginia. I visited Talladega National Forest, The Great Smokey Mountains National Park, and Craggy Garden on The Blue Ridge Parkway. There were a couple other places I saw, but these were the best and the ones I took pictures of. Enjoy.

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars. ― Jack Kerouac, On the Road